Expectations

Photo by Josh Hild from Pexels

I knew the truth would heal me.

My flesh needed to know,

Family secrets,

So I asked you with my tongue, 

Questions you never answered,

Questions that would always,

Silence you with tears.

Scattered like fall leaves,

The life path, under my feet

Lost,

Not knowing,

You were ashamed,

To tell me the truth.

In the darkness of it all,

There was Someone there,

Always there for me,

Looking at all my foolishness.

I’ve always felt His presence,

Even speaking to Him during the chase,

Trying to conquer hearts that were hardened.

He was present to my every fall,

Reaching for what wasn’t meant for me,

Seeking love under flooded bridges

With only enough headroom for a canoe

Swamped with jaded lovers, 

Amateur stars, leaving me in the dark

Feeling through the night, 

Reaching out with my hands,

Hoping to find Someone,

To guide me out.

Blindly, I found God.

He was reaching for me too,

It’s the relationship I always wanted,

Honest, with no judgment

Forgiving, and fulfilling

Never disappointing.

I now realize,

My expectations were too high

For you, and our relationship

And, I’m sorry.

I’m really sorry,

You can never be

Him.

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